The Outhouse Reader by Texas Bix Bender

Author:Texas Bix Bender
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gibbs Smith
Published: 2009-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Odd Bathroom Facts

Only 46 percent of men say they put the seat down; yet 85 percent of women admit to having fallen in the toilet because the seat was up.

An unseen six-foot-high spray of bacteria spreads across a bathroom every time the toilet is flushed with the lid up.

(Bender)

Just for Laughs

News stories you Might Have Missed

For the third day in a row, firemen were called to extinguish a blaze at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Howard Endorf. All the calls to the fire department have occurred between the hours of six and seven in the morning. When asked about this, Mister Endorf said, “Well, that’s when I get up and put the water on for a cup of instant coffee.” Mrs. Endorf normally makes Mr. Endorf’s coffee, but she has been out of town for three days now, visiting her sister.

(Bender)

A tragic event was narrowly averted this morning when Mrs. Vernice Mendenhall thought she had slept with a bear. It seems her husband was on vacation and had not shaven or bathed for six days. Around four in the morning, Mrs. Mendenhall was awakened by what she believed to be the threatening growl of a grizzly bear. In reality, it was her snoring husband. But in the dim glow from a nightlight, her husband’s grizzled features convinced her that a bear had crept into her bed during the night, eaten her husband, and taken his place. With great courage and daring, she leapt from the bed, grabbed her husband’s fully loaded twelve-gauge shotgun and let go with both barrels. Fortunately for Mr. Mendenhall, the recoil from the heavy blast caused her to shoot high and blow out the wall behind the bed. It was reported that Mr. Mendenhall slept though the whole thing. The noise of carpenters repairing the wall eventually roused him.

(Bender)

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